I’m competitive. Not just with other people, but with myself. I always want to out-do myself and be the best. Something though, i’ve learnt that it’s not possible and sometimes you just have to do the best you can.
Take my University Course for example. I’m currently studying Criminology & Psychology at the Open University. My first module started last year and i was achieving Grade 2 passes for most of my essay’s. I was good at that module. It set my aim higher for the next module and i felt unstoppable. I felt like i was good at it and not only that, i pushed myself to do better in every essay than the one before. I finished the module looking forward to the next.
Then came this years module. It’s been harder and more difficult to learn and communicate what i’ve learnt in my essay’s. I started on Grade 3 passes. I know, it seems like not a big difference when i write it down, but to see my scores on screen and written down, it’s disheartening. Especially when my tutor pointed out the fact that while my scores were not the best, i might still pass. That was the worst. I panicked. I’m due to hand my last essay in tomorrow ready for Wednesday and i am terrified i won’t pass. Im at the point where i could cry and i feel miserable because i’m not doing as well as i wanted too.
But, like everything, you can only do your best and i’m trying to work to that. Handing in this essay won’t set out the rest of my life for me and it’s not the end of the world. I have other things that many may not; a well paid job, friends, family, a place to live and when i discount this University module, i’m actually happy. So why let this get me down eh?
So, as i said – it’s okay not to always do well. Sometimes you can’t, other times you can.
Happy Sunday guys, I’m really disappointed it’s not another bank holiday weekend this weekend as i’ve got quite used to having Monday off! Ah well, we can’t have everything.
In a week where everybody had different and contrasting opinions about the election, here is what i was loving this week…
I went to Castleton with Owain and his mum and step dad as it was his mums birthday. We had an amazing carvery followed by a short walk around the countryside. I managed to get some photos but it rained about 15 minutes after they were taken so it was back in the car and home for a cup of tea!
It was really refreshing to get out into the countryside when the weather is nice, it makes me wish i had a car! Once the weather warms up a bit more i’m sure ill be out getting sunburn walking around the peak district 🙂
I am such a tea addict that it’s nice to have a coffee every now and then but recently i’ve been making a trip to Starbucks every morning before work. It even got to the point where the tram was late and i couldn’t get my morning coffee and i’ve never been so annoyed in my life. I felt like part of me was missing for the day!
I love love love my baths and recently i’ve been having a bath every night, instead of a shower. I find them so relaxing and i can read or watch youtube videos and be all warm. Showers are great for when you’re in a hurry but i’m currently addicted to having bubble baths!
& one thing i haven’t enjoyed this week…
I have an essay due on on 13th May and i always leave it until the last moment, so my Saturday night was spent writing just over 1400 words on an essay which on Saturday morning, i had no idea about anything in relation to it. Luckily, the panic subsided and i actually realised i have learnt something but still, the writing part was not enjoyable!
What have you been loving this week?
So, if you’ve read my previous post about why i chose to study with the Open University – if not you can here – you will probably be aware that i had just finished my first module and was awaiting my result – if i failed to mention that, well, now you know.
Today, i visited my module page and I PASSED MY FIRST MODULE :D.
I got 77% overall average for my first module which considering i hadn’t done any studying for a good 5 years, i feel is pretty good!
It was ‘Introducing the Social Sciences’ and i’m next going on to study ‘Welfare, Crime & Society’ which starts in February 2015 and i’m hoping will be more intriguing than the first!
Obviously, i will let you all know how it’s going, but until then, i am going to read for fun & get my brain in gear 🙂