Hey It’s Okay: To Not Always Do Well

I’m competitive. Not just with other people, but with myself. I always want to out-do myself and be the best. Something though, i’ve learnt that it’s not possible and sometimes you just have to do the best you can.

Take my University Course for example. I’m currently studying Criminology & Psychology at the Open University. My first module started last year and i was achieving Grade 2 passes for most of my essay’s. I was good at that module. It set my aim higher for the next module and i felt unstoppable. I felt like i was good at it and not only that, i pushed myself to do better in every essay than the one before. I finished the module looking forward to the next.

Then came this years module. It’s been harder and more difficult to learn and communicate what i’ve learnt in my essay’s. I started on Grade 3 passes. I know, it seems like not a big difference when i write it down, but to see my scores on screen and written down, it’s disheartening. Especially when my tutor pointed out the fact that while my scores were not the best, i might still pass. That was the worst. I panicked. I’m due to hand my last essay in tomorrow ready for Wednesday and i am terrified i won’t pass.  Im at the point where i could cry and i feel miserable because i’m not doing as well as i wanted too.

But, like everything, you can only do your best and i’m trying to work to that. Handing in this essay won’t set out the rest of my life for me and it’s not the end of the world. I have other things that many may not; a well paid job, friends, family, a place to live and when i discount this University module, i’m actually happy. So why let this get me down eh?

So, as i said – it’s okay not to always do well. Sometimes you can’t, other times you can.

…x

Big Throwback Thursday!

#TBT – Throwback Thursday. I LOVE LOVE LOVE looking at old pictures and seeing how much things have changed, myself especially.

So while i was looking through the pictures i have on my laptop, i thought ‘why not share them with the entire internet’! An entire huge post  dedicated to throwing right back!

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First up – A picture from when i went to Harry Potter Studios in Watford last year. Such a good trip but it was so tiring. It made me so happy to relive Harry Potter and see all the props and sets they used, i even got to try a bit of Butterbeer! Definitely worth a trip if you haven’t been – it’s a great day out. See this post for more of this trip!

16 year old bev

What can i say – this was YEARS ago and i mean years! A family trip to London – i had been rained on, it was windy and somewhere inside me thought the middle parting was a good look. Well done 15 year old Bev, you were bloody gorgeous. I also seem to be either high on caffeine or just really happy to have a Starbucks. Or slightly terrified. Or all 3. You decide.

me and ryan xmas

Me & my brother, Christmas day 2011. We decided it was cool to wear those christmas tag/bow things in our hair. You saw it here first! Also, i really like my hair like this. I seem to remember it took ages to curl as it was so short! #memories.

lloyds farewell ball

I love this dress! I still have it, just no where to wear it too! This was the end of my previous job’s leaving do as the building we worked in was closing and moving somewhere else so it was a goodbye to everyone! (From what i remember) it was a great night and everyone looked beautiful!

me and ryan little

This is my favourite ever throwback. Right back to when me and my brother wore these amazing matching pj suit things and just chilled out like the awesome kids we were. Kidding, we were terrors really – my brother once set the oven on fire and i sprayed bleach in his eyes at my nans. I think i have a drumstick lolly in my hand, which makes this photo even better ❤

butlins jumping

Last but not least, this energetic throwback to Butlins! I was unsure why this picture happened but i think it was just being excited to be there. It was 90’s weekend, the best decade if you ask me ;). Also, my face is hilarious. Don’t care.

HAPPY THROWBACK THURSDAY!

Show me yours!

…x